Stereotype Storybook: Prototype Feedback

Peer Feedback: Jay Wang

 

OBSERVATIONS

Jay made positive remarks and had positive reactions in most of the interactive elements in my storybook. However, there are some pages that he would usually miss a certain interactive element, such as a pull-up or slide-up scene which causes him to be confused when he flips through the next page and takes in the scene of the story. He also made confused reactions, especially in some of the text that was written, stating that some of them are unclear to him.

 

FEEDBACK & PROPOSED IMPROVEMENTS

  • GIVE IMPORTANCE TO KEY MOMENTS

One of the scenes in my storybook is where the protagonist, Sansa, is having a conversation with her mother about seeking medical help and getting a diagnosis for her mental disorder. I made this interaction into a slide-up but Jay missed it and he felt that it was a key moment that I needed to add as another page as opposed to making it as an "additional element" by having it as a pop-up. 

  • GIVE MORE EXPRESSION TO MY CHARACTERS

Jay commented that some of my drawings and the character's reactions or emotions are a bit confusing or unclear. He gave feedback to give more clarity to what I'm trying to portray through my drawings by giving my characters expression or being direct with my visual illustrations as opposed to using some symbolic elements. 

  • LAYERS AND MULTIPLE INTERACTIONS ARE ENGAGING AND INTERESTING

He was interested in the layers and the multiple interactions happening in a single scene or page and thought that it added more meaning and enriched the engagement of the story.

  • CONSIDER HIERARCHY AND PLACEMENT OF TEXT

He also noted that one of the hierarchy and placement of my text was a bit unusual which made it confusing to read. He said to make things more linear. 

  • CONNECT ALL THE ELEMENTS TOGETHER TO CREATE COHESION

On one of my pages, I created a timeline on the side effects of Adderall on Sansa, and Jay commented that the notes around it felt like it wasn't as connected to the timeline I created. He made a suggestion to make things more chronological and in order to make it more understandable. 

  • CREATE CONTRAST AND TENSION TO ADD MORE FEELING & DEPTH

Jay also suggested giving more contrast and texture to one of my scenes with Sansa's brain activity will make it more interesting. By giving it more tension using symbols like arrows or drawings of people with an expression of judgment, I could show the context outside of Sansa's brain and how it further affects her mentally and emotionally. 

  • CONSIDER FLOW OF STORY & MISSING DETAILS IN BETWEEN

There are a few scenes that Jay feels like it jumped from one moment to another without any context of what happened in between. He suggests adding minor scenes in between to connect the gap and make it more understandable and cohesive.